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Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks: Relationship Politics: Body Language Of The McCain Marriage
A Cautionary Tale For Conscious Couples, A Learning Opportunity For Us All
Ever since we wrote our piece on the Obama marriage, people have been asking us to discuss the marriage of John and Cindy McCain. We found ourselves hesitating, because while their marriage has elements that could teach valuable lessons to us all, it is also a marriage between a recovering drug addict and a deeply traumatized veteran. Such a relationship is difficult to comment on. Even the most straightforward, non-judgmental comment could be perceived by some people as critical of two sub-groups considered off-limits from close observation. Doing some background research changed our mind, however, because Mrs. McCain has discussed her drug addiction in considerable detail out in public. In addition, John McCain claims to have no emotional residue from his time as a prisoner of war, and he also claims to have been unaware of his wife's drug addiction. We don't know whether these claims are an epic act of denial or just another whopper lie from a politician. Either way, they wave a red flag at all of us who hope to enjoy conscious loving in our relationships at home and authentic communication from our political leaders.
The Hug Moment: Body-Talk Of A Devitalized Relationship
After the last presidential debate we had many requests to give our interpretation of the awkward "hug moment" at the end. From a body language perspective, the moment revealed a great deal about the McCain marriage. If you have time, go back and look frame-by-frame at the end of the debate, when the presidential candidates hugged their spouses. Here is a sequence of still shots that capture to a degree some of the points we want to discuss.
Take note of the perfunctory hug, stiffness and lack of contact between the McCains, and compare those bits of body-talk with the way Michelle and Barack Obama greeted each other with smiles and a long hug. They were still hugging when John McCain tried awkwardly to connect with Mrs. Obama. The McCain hug looked as stiff as a puppet show, while the Obama hug looked as natural and graceful as a ballet.
A Heroic Lack Of Awareness
John McCain has managed to keep his mental health records concealed, so it's not possible to know whether he is telling the truth about having no mental or emotional scars from his time behind bars. As always, though, his body-talk tells the real story. The array of body language we've commented on in other posts is a sad tale of poorly concealed anger and deeply hidden fear.
John McCain claims not to have known of his wife's drug addiction, even at a time when she was supporting her habit by stealing drugs from a charity organization. If that...
Ginny
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