BBC NEWS | Americas | US court reveals Libya 'terror plot'

BBC NEWS | Americas | US court reveals Libya 'terror plot'

The New York Times > Science > By Accident, Utah Is Proving an Ideal Genetic Laboratory

The New York Times > Science > By Accident, Utah Is Proving an Ideal Genetic Laboratory

Feh.

The New York Times > International > Middle East > Prewar Intelligence: High Qaeda Aide Retracted Claim of Link With Iraq

The New York Times > International > Middle East > Prewar Intelligence: High Qaeda Aide Retracted Claim of Link With Iraq

Oh, yeah, back away slowly from that story, Chimpy.

How In The Hell Do They Get The 411?

<"Douglas told the hushed courtroom telephone threats were made to his wife's hotel room while she filmed the movie Ocean's 12. "

And there's another point of connection. This happened sometime in May or June. Again with the "jeebus."

MSNBC - Tale of the Clooney conwoman

“Now the mother supposedly has a sister who supposedly killed herself — she did it on George’s answering machine,” says Rosenfield. “And the mother is suing George for wrongful death. But the woman and the daughter and the sister are all the same person.” - spokesman Stan Rosenfield

This was two months before Rance started blogging.

Jeebus.

OMG - Funniest. Droids. Evar!

"These are not the droids you're looking for" group from Comic-Con San Diego - via ***Dave.

Note - one of them may be a ringer.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Love to spend 18 months in rehab

Singer Courtney Love has been sentenced to 18 months in drug rehabilitation after she admitted being under the influence of cocaine and opiates.

Hmm.

White Castle on Sunset Strip: Sliders In Paradise

A.S. - just so you don't feel left out of the "my personal favorite hamburger joint" sweepstakes, White Castle is opening a mini-burger joint on the Sunset Strip. It's a promo for the "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" movie.

At the moment I heard about this on the radio last night, I was actually driving by a White Castle location. Strangely, I had no sudden urge for a Slider, but I did wish that Fatburger would open up a Midwest location.

As for Rance - next time, go with a hypo-allergenic pelican.

Still Making With The Funny At Rance's

Name: ginny
Home Page: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=storycid=573ncid=757e=2u=/nm/20040722/od_nm/odd_perks_dc
E-Mail: ginny@midrange.com

Waxwing, you darling avian you:

"Why, for instance, do the women keep those things all big even though they aren't nursing any young?"

Not all of us keep those things all big, and not all of us have any intention of nursing any young. ;)

However, it seems that our government is willing to give some of those big things for free to members of our military. They don't specify by gender, so it seems like it would be a perky perk indeed for male members of the armed forces(otherwise known as "big swinging military dicks") to also have a set of breasts that they can fondle anytime without being brought up on sexual harassment charges.

If this is so, the enlistment crisis is instantly solved. However, the uniform manufacturers will soon have a couple of big, nicely rounded problems on their hands.

VBSEG, (that would be "very big shit-eating grin")

G

Rance seems to be MIA, possibly fishing, possibly gave up acting and ran off to work on a shrimp boat. Wages, benefits, one half share in the payout, and all the shrimp he can eat.

Coffee, Tea, or Vodka?

Russian flight attendants go on bender, beat a passenger, then pass out.

Halliburton Again: And Iran, Iran So Far Away

"Halliburton, in trouble over alleged over-charging for Iraq contracts, is being probed for its deals in Iran. "

Fametracker

George Clooney has opened his heart to a bunch of strippers about his real feelings for Hollywood's royalty. The heart-throb wined and dined three strippers, ZENA, AMBER and ERICA, earlier this year (13FEB01) and told them his thoughts on his past co-stars. Among his revelations, according to the strippers, were that he allegedly finds his Out Of Sight (1998) co-star Jennifer Lopez mean, cold and nasty and his favourite co-star was Michelle Pfeiffer - who had him in a constant state of sexual arousal when they made One Fine Day (1996). According to America's STAR magazine, Zena says, "I couldn't believe a superstar like him could bare his intimate thoughts with people he barely knew."

Ummm. Perhaps blogging is a bit safer and way less expensive.

P.S: TMI but goodie for Michelle, I say.

Strict Father vs. Nurturant Parent (Signal vs. Noise)

Strict Father vs. Nurturant Parent (Signal vs. Noise)

Hey! I've got 27 DVPs!

Tuesday, 13 July 2004 - 7:47 AM HDT

Name: Rance
Home Page: http://captainhoof.tripod.com/blog/

RD, DVP stands for Dodge Viper Points. These are points redeemable, once you've accumulated the requisite amount, for either a brand new Dodge Viper automobile. At some juncture (I'm sorry, I don't have the figures at my disposal) DVPs are also redeemable for a keg of beer. The current Top Ten in the DVP standings/point totals:

1. Robyn 71
2. Bard S 58
3. Shorty 44
4. Waxwing 44
5. CuriousGirl 35
6. Ginny 27
7. Wheeler Jones 27
8. BabyGirlCrow 27
9. Lora 27
10 (t) Nancy D 19
10 (t) Jay 19
10 (t) Ken
10 (t) Cheryl
10 (t) Whoever I forgot

Clever Rance, now everyone not named will assume they're one of the "whoever I forgot" types.

Aw, that's so cute to think that there's a spreadsheet out there and someone's earnestly keeping score.... or alternatively, pulling numbers out of the nearest ass.

Heraldic Claptrappery

Sir Bard S thought you'd get a kick out this. I am not so sure, but here it is anyway: a "spec" entry in the coat of arms design contest, if there ever is one. It's long. I'll keep a copy. Probably too boring for network.

Crest: Shrimp gules "en brochette" saltire sur la toque de chef pommes frits (cooked shrimp skewered on crossed cocktail picks sitting on a Fatburger frycook's hat). The crest is the symbol that sits on top of the shield, or on top of your helmet whilst jousting if you're a knight.

Shield: On a field argent, at least 6 small fleurs-de-lys vert chevron, in the "missing man" formation with nothing at the apex. This is symbolic of Tripod, little green letters on a white background, and "inadvertently deleted by the AS" comments. Or, the fleurs-de-lys can be a background pattern - this is evidently called "Fleurty" which struck me funny.

Superimposed on this background: 3 large rampant shrimp gules en brochette on a foil sable bend sinister (ie., 3 more cooked shrimp on a black fencing sword, angled from lower left to upper right). I just realized that the foil should be grasped by a mailed fist. More symbolism.

Motto (goes on a banner below): something classy in Latin or French, such as "Mon droit et mon shrimp," or "And so you must die!" et cetera.

Alternate: 3 crossed cocktail picks, forming a tripod, on top of which sits a rampant shrimp.

The link leads to a funky flash site with a tutorial for designing and describing heraldic devices. I also checked the Burke's Peerage site (where else?) because I couldn't remember all the fancy French heraldic terms.

On a trip to England last fall, we saw coats of arms that were 3-dimensional carved wood sculptures displayed in the chapel of the Order of the Garter in Westminster Abbey - pretty swank stuff, but probably beyond the scope of this little caper.

Oh, the military is the bloody and unsuccessful tool?

Thought it was our Resident. My bad.

A senior US intelligence official has told the BBC that the American-led war in Iraq was 'a gift of epic proportions to Osama Bin Laden'

My Ass Falls Off Again

Previously in the Show Miss Alli Some Love thread:

And if you ever find yourself in this situation (and your Berlitz guide doesn't cover it), here it is (courtesy of BabelFish at Alta Vista):

¿Usted ha visto a enano el usar de un sombrero plástico que activaba con una vaca muerta en ella detrás?

Next:

Oh, how I hate Babelfish. It'd be more like "¿No vieron a una enana con un sombrerito de plástico corriendo con una vaca muerta en la espalda?" But I suppose the Babelfish translation would be funnier in this context.

Next:

Ah, AlejandraDD, but have you ever tried back-translating in Babel Fish? Because that's where the real fun lies:

"You have seen dwarf using of a plastic hat that she behind activated with a cow died in her?"

Happiness is the best revenge

It's nice to read some successful tales of revenge - although I had plenty of reasons to want revenge for things over the years, I could never pull quite pull it off.

This is possibly because most of my revenge fantasies contain cartoon violence. I could never figure out how to contact the Acme company, so beloved of Wile E. Coyote, to order rockets and roller skates and anvils.

Currently, I'm with Smart (and now Serene) Ken. I've been saying "happiness is the best revenge" for several years now, since the last time I got screwed over at work resulted in a happy marriage, a better job, and a number of really swell vacations.

Just a file copy in case this never gets posted.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Bush pledges intelligence reforms

Does this mean he promises to be smarter?

Yet More Parental Squick

Ugh. It's not just that they tell us not to look - but they never remember to tell us "don't listen, and don't sniff."

I think we're being weaned.

Either that, or Rance is less than enchanted, owing to onerous moderating/fight management duties.

How Much Is Crane At Risk?

... a lot, I hope. I don't want this guy representing me.

Party Appeal to Churches for Help Raises Doubts

Legal experts say that churches are allowed to hold nonpartisan voter registration drives and that individual church members are free to lobby church acquaintances on behalf of a candidate, but that any use of church resources to support a political campaign, even a gesture like placing campaign fliers on a literature table, can run afoul of the tax-exempt requirements.

Oh, ho, ho, the backlash is building. And by the way, hasn't anyone warned the Moccult about this?

NPR : The Reading of the Declaration of Independence / Rance file comment

Choked up when I heard Red Barber's voice.

Added an "optional" comment over at Rance's - will probaby not be approved
since it will be out of date very soon.

This comment is optional; it's not personal, but it's also not terribly witty, original, or containing anything to do with JLo (doesn't she have a new nickname yet?). Therefore, it may be blown away without remorse.

Your "Am I proud to be an American" has got me thinking, and that's never a good thing. I'll probably expand on the thought elsewhere; for now I'll say that I was proud when I heard the annual dramatic reading of the Declaration of Independence on NPR this morning, but felt a bit sad that it was impossible to hear it without making ironic substitutions related to current events. Oh, and I always choke up when I hear Red Barber's voice now.

I'm proud when I go to our national and state parks and public lands, but not so proud when I see trash strewn around, monuments vandalized, and my fellow Amerkins acting like asshats and ruining it for everyone else.

Try not to be too miserable, Rance. I've got you beat there - we probably won't do a damn thing, and then I have to work on Monday. Bleh.

Oh, and by the way - October Surprise, anyone?

Same article - I suppose it would be better to hold elections AFTER bin Laden
is dramatically captured and handed over to the proper authorties.

Just in time for our elections in November. Best pencil it in.

Another problem: Registered voters keep getting killed

Jean Arnault, the United Nation's special representative in Afghanistan, told the Security Council in May that the Taliban and al Qaeda insurgency in southern Afghanistan was increasing, hindering voter registration and threatening the legitimacy of elections. Mr. Arnault said voter registration hasn't been possible in three of the 34 provinces and has proven difficult in nine others.

Odd, no mention of the "everyone with a voter's registration was killed"
bus incident from the other day.